Iced Heart
by Shoujiko-remains
Summary: Kaito is an experiment for the HPE1. His mission: to survive the modern world. His report: as follows. Contains KaiMei. One of my first Fanfics
1. Part 1

I never understood popularity. Or the obsession with money. Or anything at all, really. I couldn't understand people's feelings, or their actions. I never saw the reasoning behind choices that others made, and I didn't feel the emotions that everybody else had. I was an empty shell, with just enough of a soul to continue living. So many told me that they liked me, my personality, my blue hair. But what did that mean? Why did they 'like' it, and what about it was special? And what exactly was my 'personality'? Crying when I rejected them; why? What made them sad, and why did they shed tears?

My brain consisted of calculations and gears, all juxtaposed in a perfect line. As far as I was concerned, I needed nothing more. The data stored in me was enough to get me through life, and that was fine with me.

I am not a robot. I am a human, but specially trained. When I was around five years of age, they hooked me up to a machine and programmed me. What they say is what I do, and I don't care. I'm an experiment; it's my job. Two years prior was when they released me into the 'real world', as they called it. They taught me the ways of humanity, then left me in the streets of Tokyo to see if I would survive. So far, I had.

But that was before my second year in high school.

It was the opening ceremony, welcoming the new students and giving out schedules, the student council giving their speeches. There was a girl sitting next to me, with short brown hair and hazel eyes, listening to music through black and red headphones. I wondered why she was smiling, just listening to different sounds combined to create a melody and a harmony with the voices of other people she probably didn't know. It would have been intriguing, that thought, if I had had the emotional capacity to be intrigued.

The girl noticed me watching her and held out the left earbud. "Wanna listen?" she asked, grinning. "It's Buono. They're my favorite."

I just shook my head. According to my data, Buono was a Japanese girls band who mostly sang rock and the occasional pop song. I had no desire to listen to something as tasteless as that. But then again, I never had the desire to listen to any kind of music, tasteless or otherwise. But how would I know? I had no taste in anything unless my programmers wanted me to. The girl simply shrugged.

"I'm Meiko, by the way." she said, before turning back to face the front.

"Kaito." I muttered, although I knew she couldn't hear me. I always had to introduce myself when someone else does.

It turned out that Meiko was in my homeroom. She spotted me as I walked in and bounced right up. "Hello!" she said, waving energetically. I remained as I was.

"Hello." I answered. She walked up to me and smiled. "Hey, you wanna sit together? I just transferred here this year, so I don't know anybody else except Sensei. How about it? Oh, hold up, I didn't catch your name at the assembly. What was it?"

"Kaito Shion. And I will sit with you." We walked over to two empty seats, and she flopped down on hers, dumping her backpack underneath the desk. I sat down carefully, setting my backpack neatly beside me. The teacher began the lesson, and we all quieted down.

Yet that year was anything but quiet.


	2. Part 2

"Kai-chan!" I heard Meiko call. I could see her running across the courtyard, waving her arm like it would save her life. I stared at her until she reached me, a broad grin splitting her face. When she saw my expression, however, the smile turned into a teasing pout. "Aw, Kaito-kun! Aren't you excited to see me? I finally got out of the hospital! Look, a cast! Isn't it awful? Now I won't be able to run as fast or bounce around like I used to..."

I raised an eyebrow. I hadn't known that she was aware that she did that. But it was true: she had a small cast wrapped around her leg, ankle, and heel. I vaguely wondered how she had run across the yard to me with it on.

"It sucks, doesn't it? Hey, Shion-san, you listening to me? You know, you never have any feeling on your face. You're so cold! You don't even care that I broke my foot, do you? I've tried so hard to be friends with you!" she turned around and began sniffling, obviously fake crying. "Did you even think about me while I was gone?"

I had, actually. I would walk into the classroom, half expecting Meiko to be there, jumping up to tackle-hug me. Not that she ever tackled me successfully; I was too sturdy. The thought of her laugh would sometimes drift through my mind as I ate lunch alone, but that was it. So I just nodded in answer to her question, not caring to elaborate.

"Really?" she squealed in reply to my nod. "I was afraid you didn't have feelings!"

She was extremely accurate in that statement.

"So, did I miss anything big? Anything at all? Did you make any new friends, Kin Kin?"

I shook my head no. Even if I had tried to be friends with anybody, they would just avoid me. Everyone else besides Meiko thought that I was unfriendly and thought that I was above everybody. They've said that I was a 'jerk'. Well, their problem, since I didn't really care. About anything. Unless my programmers deemed it so. "The teachers did not assign any important projects while you were gone, and I did not try to make new 'friends'. You have missed only two days worth of homework, and one quiz in science."

Meiko wiped her hand across her forehead, as if wiping away sweat. "Phew! I didn't want to make up too much stuff." She smiled widely, and then walked into the building, slipping on her black and red headphones as she went. I felt something in my chest tighten as I watched her retreating back. I would have to have the doctors look at that.

After school, I walked quickly to the small apartment I had rented with the equally as tiny amount of money that my programmers had given me. I would be late for my part time job as a cashier at the local grocery shop, but I had more important things to attend to.

I dropped off my backpack and then headed towards the hospital. There, I requested to see the 'Project HPE1 ' doctors. They were the staff that always attended to me, since I was what they called a 'special case'. They had been hired and sworn to secrecy by my programmers, so whenever I had a problem, they were who I turned to.

Dr. Haku finished the examination. "You seem fine, Shion-kun. Everything's how it should be, even in the chestral region. You're not sick, and you don't seem to have any glitches." she said, taking off her glasses. Her long gray hair swished behind her back as she turned around. "Well, thank you for coming. If you need anything else, just ask!"

I nodded, although she couldn't see me, and walked out the door. As I was walking home, I noticed Meiko at a bus stop. The tightening came again, along with the word 'pleasure' in my mind. It was a strange sensation, one that I had never felt before. I wondered if the doctors had gone over everything thoroughly.

I walked up behind Meiko and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, a startled look on her face, but it transformed into a look of pure happiness when she saw that it was me.

"Kai-chi! Hey! I never thought I'd see you around! What's up?"

I shook my head, not knowing how to answer. I felt my lips curve upward into what some would say was a smile. But I wasn't programmed to smile, so that was an impossibility. Meiko's eyes lit up.

"Shion-kun! Your face! You smiled!"

I guess it wasn't an impossibility after all.

I shook my head and remained expressionless, determined not to let the smile slip out. Determined? Since when did I have feelings like determination? I decided not to dwell on it. Meiko grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the incoming bus.

"Come on, Kaito-tan! Let's go!" she said excitedly, dragging me along, ignoring her limp completely. I uselessly pointed towards my apartment complex.

"My house-" I started, but Meiko interrupted me.

"No, no! You're coming with me! It's not everyday I get to hang out with you after school!" 


	3. Part 3

The next morning, I woke up with fond memories of the night before. Fond was not something I was used to. Ever since that little chest tighten, more feelings had been shoving to be the first ones out. I'd been worried, happy, laughing, and exasperated all in one day. My mind was going haywire, trying to figure out what it all meant. The perfectly laid data and information was everywhere at once, trying to find its place once more.

I found myself hurrying to get ready for school, faster than my usual, set, steady pace that contributed to the fact that I always got to school at exactly 6:45. I questioned my fast pace, and realized that it was because I wanted to see Meiko. She had forced me to go shopping with her the night before, but I had enjoyed spending time with her.

I hurried to school, Forcing myself to slow down when I reached the double doors leading inside. I looked for a while, but I couldn't find Meiko. Was she not here yet? No, she was usually here, even before I was. Was she just not coming? No, she seemed fine yesterday. Maybe she was already in the classroom? No, because I had just looked there. Besides, she usually spent the time before the bell with me or her other friends.

Her other friends! I went around, asking if anyone had seen her. One girl, Luka-san, almost fell over from surprise when I smiled and asked her if she had seen Meiko. She told me to look on the roof.

Meiko was there, Her short brown hair curling slightly at the bottom, her black and red headphones firmly in place, her hands behind her back and her beautiful voice singing along, drifting on the breeze.

"Good Morning." I said, in my usual, almost robotic voice. She spun around happily.

"Good Morning, Shio-sama!" she beamed, and I had to swallow an urge to beam right back. Instead I just dipped my head in greeting. She continued, "So, how did you like yesterday? Did you have fun? I did! So, what brings you up here? You couldn't wait to see me, because I'm your only friend?"

I shook my head. I actually had another friend, Gakupo, but he didn't come to school early like a lot of other kids did. I just sat down next to her and stared out at the morning clouds. "Meiko..." I began.

"K-Kaito-kun, that's... That's the first time you've ever said my name." she said, staring at me in wonder. I felt my cheeks heat up, just the tiniest bit. Was that really the first time I had ever said her name? I felt like something big, for some odd reason.

"Meiko," I started once more. "what is it called when... you can't wait to see someone? When they're what seems like the most important thing to you? What is it when you feel a tightening in your chest whenever you see that one person, and you can't stop thinking about them? Do you know what that's called?"

"Kai-ti, that's called 'love'." she answered softly. "There's different types of love, of course... There's brotherly love, friendship love, parental love, and then there's... True Love. When you're attracted to that person with all of your mind, heart, and soul."

"Are you familiar with 'love'?" I asked, feeling the word in my mouth like a foreign object, or an ancient artifact, forgotten but rediscovered.

"Yeah." She was staring off into space now, not even humming to the music softly flowing from the headphones. I stood up as I heard the bell for class start ringing. "Class is beginning." I said, in a voice devoid of feeling. I bent over to help her up. As she grabbed the outstretched hand, tingles traveled up my arm, causing my face to warm up. But I quickly banished the blush from my face, instructing it never to return again.

After school was an adventure, as Meiko put it. To celebrate my experience with love, she brought me to an ice-cream parlor.

"But I never said I experienced love." I told her. She quickly shushed me.

"Look, buddy. I'm just looking for an excuse to buy ice-cream. Now shut up and do as you're told. Besides, if you've never experienced it, how did you know what it felt like? Hm?"

I had no answer to that, so I allowed myself to be led into the parlor.

But I had one question. "What does ice-cream taste like?"

Meiko allowed herself two full minutes to stare at me. "Are you serious? You've never tasted ice-cream? How deprived were you as a child?" she said in bewilderment. Apparantly this ice-cream stuff was good.

We sat down and Meiko ordered for both of us. "I think you'd like vanilla." she told me, as we waited for our orders to be done. The cashier woman slid the ice-cream towards us in little glass bowls, and we walked to a table. I slid my spoon shallowly into the scoop...

Raised it to my mouth...

And my eyes widened. This was possibly the best thing I had ever tasted in my life. Which actually wasn't saying much, considering my diet was only what I had been programmed to eat, based on a healthy food regimen. This ice-cream was like a small bit of perfect melting in my mouth, even though I knew, from the data stored in my brain, that perfect was next to impossible to attain. I swallowed and froze for a second, relishing the creamy taste that had flooded my mouth. Then I dug back in, savoring every spoonful. Meiko laughed as she watched me, barely eating her own. She had her head resting in her hand, her hair falling to one side and her eyes twinkling. She looked beautiful.

I finished the ice-cream and pushed the bowl forward. Meiko, fast as lightning, shoveled hers into her mouth and did the same with her bowl. We stood up and left, Meiko leaning on my shoulder and talking about something. I was too dazed at the fact that she was leaning on my shoulder to pay attention. The gesture seemed strangely intimate, even though I had no real knowledge on this subject.

We waited to cross the street with several others. Meiko wanted to go shopping again, and there was a mall across the street. The light switched to 'walk', and we began. The only problem was that Meiko still had a bad limp from her broken foot. She was slower than everyone else, and stumbled twice. It didn't annoy me, I was just worried that we wouldn't make it across in time before the light turned green.

Meiko stumbled once again, and dropped her bag. I quickly went to retrieve it- just as the light turned green. A large semi-truck started to drive again. Several other drivers honked at it, trying to alert the man inside. He finally noticed Meiko- but too late.


	4. Part 4

"Meiko!" I screamed, dropping her bag and diving to protect her. I was two seconds too slow. The truck hit her and she went tumbling away, coming to a stop in a bloodied heap. I ran over as fast as I could, leaning over and lifting her head. "Meiko?"

She opened her eyes and winced as I checked her over for fatal wounds. There were too many. "Kaito-kun... hello. That truck... tell the driver I'm sorry for getting in his way." she coughed.

I shook my head, then nodded. "Meiko, stay with me, okay? Someone's calling an ambulance, you'll be okay."

The stupid voice of reason, which was not in my programming, whispered cruelly in my ear. She won't be okay, of course she won't be, she's practically dead already!

Again, I shook my head.

"Kaito-kun. Who-" cough. "Who was it that you fell in love with?" she asked, her voice weak, hoarse, and yet still beautiful and melodious.

"Who did I- Meiko, it was you! I fell in love with you, it was all you... You defeated my program."

She looked up in confusion. "Your- what?" She coughed again.

There was blood. Too much blood. I ripped off a strip of my shirt and tried desperately to wrap up one of the wounds on her shoulder. Put pressure on the source to stop bleeding...

"My program. I was programmed to survive in the modern world by scientists. They changed a normal human into a being surpassing a robot. It was me. I'm sorry I never told you... But you broke through the data, I gained actual human emotions because I loved you! So you can't go, you can't!"

Meiko tried to smile but it turned to a grimace of pain. She stroked my cheek, and I could see tears shining on the tips of her fingers. My tears. "I loved you too. You were the best experience ever for me, 'kay? Don't-" cough cough. "forget that."

I panicked as she closed her eyes and the breathing slowed. I heard someone call to me, but I couldn't answer them. My chest went numb and I gripped her cold hand.

"Boy! Hey, you! Get away from her! The paramedics are here, she needs air!" I bent down to kiss her forehead, then gently put her head back on the ground. I stepped back as paramedics came and checked her heartbeat, then strapped her into a stretcher. I watched the ambulance even after it disappeared from sight. And I hoped against hope that she would live.

I sat in my room, my head in my hands and my knees pulled up to my chest. I had a scarf wrapped around my neck to try to block the cold that was seeping into my new, raw heart.

I had gotten a phone call earlier from the hospital emergency room saying that Meiko Sakine hadn't made it. She had died within a few minutes of reaching the hospital, and they were very sorry. Yeah, right. They hadn't even known her.

The only thing I had to remember her by was my memories of us together, one of the last ones being of us eating the ice-cream together, the first time I had ever tasted it. It would become my most treasured memory, my most prized possession. It became a place of rest, a place of solace. Meiko would be the only girl I ever loved, and that was fine by me. She was the best girl anyone could have ever loved.

I wish now that I had never been programmed. That I had met Meiko earlier. That she hadn't died, that we had gone to the ice-cream parlor together more than once.

I wish that I could always have had what Meiko had all her life: a heart.

~ The end ~

**_Hey, guys! Thanks for reading! ^^ Please leave feedback and criticism, it is greatly appreciated~ I hope you enjoyed my attempt at a KaiMei fanfic ^^ Sayonara~!_**


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